Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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