I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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