drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
