Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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