i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
