I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
