it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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