would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
