so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is the high leading the old right now
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
