so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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