There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
