I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
