I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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