it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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