He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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