Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
