I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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