i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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