Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
