Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
