We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
