think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
