I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
