I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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