Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
