so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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