420 ftw
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
