I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i already hear my dad disowning me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
