I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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