Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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