Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
