it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
