Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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