I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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