dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Randomize
