These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
