she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
