You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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