dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
