I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
