i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We need a shit load of segways right now
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
