Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
