How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
