I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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