i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
