u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
