woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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