I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
