oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
