so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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