Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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