I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
