He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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